Friday, October 8, 2010

Getting Through It...

So it's been almost 2 months since I lost the baby and I can say that even though I have my bad days, it's not hard every day anymore. I'm making it through it somehow. I'm not going to say that they're aren't hard days because there are, but on an everyday basis I'm doing better. I was reading something a few weeks ago that really helped. It said that when God takes something away from you, it's because he's preparing you for something greater and for some reason that really resonated with me. That little quote there has helped me sooo much.

Last Sunday was a really difficult day for me. First we went to church, which we hadn't been since before the miscarriage, and that was really difficult, I cried throughout most of the worship and then I kind of felt better. Where is a better place to cry when something is bothering except somewhere where you know no matter what you're loved. And then afterward we went to Megan's daughter Maddy's first birthday party which was really hard too, because there were babies there and it made me sad. Then the other day I had another hard moment because I realized that next week would be when would have found out the sex of the baby. I think that was the hardest of them all because I was so looking forward to that day, but like I said I'm getting through day by day.

On another note, my diabetes is under control and in November they'll be able to check my A1C again and if it's lower then I might be able to start trying to get pregnant again, which excites me.

Looking for a job is awful. I can't seem to find one no matter what I do and I'm getting really discouraged :( I just don't understand, it used to take nothing for me to find a job. I hope it just has to do with the economy. It's probably that or the fact that I stopped working for  quite a while to concentrate on school, since I was having problems doing both. Oh well, I guess when I find the one I'm supposed to have I'll get it.

'Til next time...