January 17, 2011

A new year, a new me; or at least this is what I hope to accomplish.

I've decided that this year I'm trying to be a new and different me. I'm going to try and be a more positive person and then of course I'm trying to lose weight and keep my health under control so that, hopefully, I can have another chance of being a mother sometime soon.

These past few months have been the hardest of my entire life, but I know that I can get through them (that's the part about being more positive ;). Please, don't misunderstand me, these are  not my new year resolutions. I don't believe in making them because I think that making a new years resolution is an automatic way to make sure that you don't follow through with the goals that you've set for yourself. So a long time ago I decided that I wasn't going to make resolutions anymore, but I was going to keep setting realistic goals.

I'm determined to change my life this year and change it for the better. I'm tired of seeing the lives of those I love and being sad or jealous. I have a wonderful friend, who has always been there for me when I've needed her and lately I've been so jealous of her that it's been difficult for me to be happy for her even though I am. And it's not that I'm not happy for her, I sad and disappointed and jealous that she's getting to have something that I was taken from me, but I am still very happy for her, sometimes it's just difficult. But one thing I'm determined to change this year is that kind of thinking.

Though this probably isn't the best place to stop for now, it's the best that I can think of.

'Til later